liamfx:

staff at checkout: that’ll be $9.95
me: here’s $10.00
me: keep the change 
image

(Source: liamfx, via cornputer)

egberts:

where can i buy that for free

(via pizza)

puppyluver43:

I don’t like morning people or mornings or people

(via orgasm)

mediocr:

If you hate puppies you are a serial killer

(via shouldnt)

bethmai:

congratulations on reading the book before it was made into a film

you win: nothing

(Source: moaninglisasmile, via fake-mermaid)

"tell ur dog i said hi"

me to all my friends w/ dogs  (via ven0moth)

(Source: 420dongsquad, via fake-mermaid)

charmancler:

who cares about hashtags when there’s hashbrowns

(Source: charmancler, via fake-mermaid)

jeremymcbitchin:

Imagine having braces during the apocalypse. no one can take your braces off. And you just have to accept that you’ll have braces forever.

(via egberts)

australiansanta:

i apologise to every puppy that i havent patted yet and i’ll be there soon pal

(via moistbottom)

tastelessblog:

i run slower than internet explorer

(via human)

pussyclestroyer:

fight 

image

(via pizza)

itll:

how does wikipedia know the height of every celebrity

(via shouldnt)

disarms:

"you need to go on a diet"

image

(Source: disarms, via hate)

“faster,” i moaned. “why won’t this page load faster?”

(Source: cumberlord, via dulect)

orgygami:

logged the fuck in

(via dulect)